Sexual Language in English

Women do not have the language to discuss sexuality. Women have no language which frames them as an active, desiring and powerful sexual being (Jackson & Cram, 2003). From the author’s survey of a variety of online sex or slang dictionaries, it is clear that there is a divide between male anatomy-and-pleasure-centered vocabulary, and that of woman-centered anatomy and pleasure. There is an abundance of terms for real or even imagined sexual acts involving the penis or male orgasm. The few words found by the author that described female anatomy, orgasm, or sexual acts, were either anatomical words or had a derogatory 2nd definition. The author’s personal least favorite is the term bloody axe wound in reference to a woman’s vulva. Indeed, it is hard to imagine a woman feeling confident and sensual and powerful when she is told her body represents a bleeding wound, a defect, a problem.
Women do not generate many of the slang terms we use, or even know the words used to refer to their anatomy (Braun & Kitzinger, 2001). As reported by Braun and Kitzinger, there are more slang words for male anatomy than female anatomy, and they are categorized in different ways. Words for women’s bodies can often represent receptacles or things of weakness. In the category of ‘Danger’ words, male anatomy is represented as a weapon, female anatomy as a trap. In the category of money, only women’s anatomy is represented, with the questionable exception of the term ‘money shot’ for male ejaculate visible as onto a woman’s body. In this study, women’s genitalia is referred to in a euphemistic manner 60 times by female participants whereas the male participants do so a mere 17. Further, the authors report a remarkable lack of consensus on the specific anatomical parts referenced by these many slang terms. For a particular word for female genitalia, different participants could be “certain” that they knew whether it referred to the vagina, clitoris, vulva, or pubic hair, and the consensus be as low as 1/15.
Lesbian sex, or sex that does not involve a penis, is either glossed over or shoved awkwardly into boxes that do not fit (Richardson, 1996). Is mutual masturbation a clear concept? Hardly. When women “do it”, who fucks whom? These are issues that arise out of a lack of language, a lack of discussion. If fucking is the only thing people do during sex (everything else is foreplay) then who has the power, the control of the sexual encounter if there is no man involved? This wouldn’t be a question if our language represented the mutuality of sexual behavior as well as the human nature of it rather than the one-male-one-female perspective. If we have worked so hard to be treated (more) like equals in the workplace, in public, and in politics, who not in our language and in bed?
More importantly is this point; since men are the ones generating the words that are used to describe our bodies and our sexuality (Braun & Kitzinger, 2001), if we continue to rely on men to come up with these words, can we really expect that this language will ever be independent of the penis or its relativity to that organ?